You deter me, no wait, everyone deters me. Let me rephrase that, everyone who reminds me of him deters me and it doesn’t have to be because they are alike. It can be for any reason at all, they can be opposites but it will still remind of him because I will think, “you are nothing like him, please leave me alone.” Because you aren’t like him and no one really is, you are boring and I can’t stand your voice and your stories have no purpose and you are not funny and I do not care about your day or your pets and I can’t laugh at your laugh and I will never love your laugh and it makes me so fucking angry. No matter how little or how few people I talk to, everyone makes me very angry almost every single day because in some way I always end up thinking of him. I hate talking to anyone who isn’t him.
And I’ve heard you said one time, that I never even fucking cross your mind. And I guess I’ll act like that’s fine, but you should know that you cross mine all the time.
Someday, we’ll run into each other again, I know it. Maybe I’ll be older and smarter and just plain better. If that happens, that’s when I’ll deserve you. But now, at this moment, you can’t hook your boat to mine, because I’m liable to sink us both.
Spoil her with consistency.